In my first year at grad college, a friend had one told me a dialogue from some amitabh s movie, 'na koi apne age hai, na peeche! yah mein nahi kehta yeh apne naseeb mein likha hai......'
Damn filmy, i used to think, but apart from the filmigiri involved it still is always on my mind,the dialogue means to me a thought of being independent, standing on your own feet and being true to yourself! Somehow all three are related to each other! richard bach has said in 'Illuaions_The adventures of a Reluctant Messiah', that your only true obligation in life is to be true to yourself as being true to others is not only impossible but also a sign of a fake messiah! something that i quite agree with,( forget the messiah part, thats another story)!
We have to learn to be independent, to be true to ourselves! Most of us, especially single children like me are so pampered, given everything before asking for it! they become so dependent on others that they forget to function independently! what they actually forget is that finally in life they are gonna lose all those people who they are dependent on now! My heart really goes out to them, i have seen such people panic and get depressed or helpless when they have to live alone or take decisions themselves! looking at such people situationss i started realizing that finally the only person who is gonna be left is you! we come alone and go alone, and while we are here we are alone, we ve got company ofcourse, but its temporary! from the time this realization stuck me, the need to be independent, i really am striving hard to be independent, to understand myself, to try and be answerable to myself, for whatever things i do or say!
Understanding yourself is extremely important to be independent! you have to be constantly looking out for yourself, what makes you happy, contented, sad. etc! how you think, what you are.... Answering all these and more honestly, helps you understand yourself!
I had a friend who was completely dependent emotionally, mentally. on her group, she still is! a brilliant girl, but no use, she still is so dependent on them, her friend literally control her. she is like a puppet in thier hands who need their support or acceptance to be happy or be sad! she cannot function independently even now! dont know how she would ever handle a project, a partner or even a child on her own! someone who needs others approval to chose their mood, path or an answer is just a dead body, very harsh i know! but really, god has given us such beautiful minds and bodies! WHY LIVE UNDER OTHERS INFLUENCE? WHY NOT CHOOSE WHAT WE WANT FROM LIFE AND GRAB IT WITH BOTH OUR HANDS? WHY DO WE NEED TO BE TOLD WHAT TO DO, WHAT NOT TO DO?
I am sure if we take a decision to be independent, our lives would me much better, happier and much much more satisfying!
Hoping this post makes a difference to your life!