Saturday, May 24, 2008

Being independent

In my first year at grad college, a friend had one told me a dialogue from some amitabh s movie, 'na koi apne age hai, na peeche! yah mein nahi kehta yeh apne naseeb mein likha hai......'

Damn filmy, i used to think, but apart from the filmigiri involved it still is always on my mind,the dialogue means to me a thought of being independent, standing on your own feet and being true to yourself! Somehow all three are related to each other! richard bach has said in 'Illuaions_The adventures of a Reluctant Messiah', that your only true obligation in life is to be true to yourself as being true to others is not only impossible but also a sign of a fake messiah! something that i quite agree with,( forget the messiah part, thats another story)!

We have to learn to be independent, to be true to ourselves! Most of us, especially single children like me are so pampered, given everything before asking for it! they become so dependent on others that they forget to function independently! what they actually forget is that finally in life they are gonna lose all those people who they are dependent on now! My heart really goes out to them, i have seen such people panic and get depressed or helpless when they have to live alone or take decisions themselves! looking at such people situationss i started realizing that finally the only person who is gonna be left is you! we come alone and go alone, and while we are here we are alone, we ve got company ofcourse, but its temporary! from the time this realization stuck me, the need to be independent, i really am striving hard to be independent, to understand myself, to try and be answerable to myself, for whatever things i do or say!

Understanding yourself is extremely important to be independent! you have to be constantly looking out for yourself, what makes you happy, contented, sad. etc! how you think, what you are.... Answering all these and more honestly, helps you understand yourself!

I had a friend who was completely dependent emotionally, mentally. on her group, she still is! a brilliant girl, but no use, she still is so dependent on them, her friend literally control her. she is like a puppet in thier hands who need their support or acceptance to be happy or be sad! she cannot function independently even now! dont know how she would ever handle a project, a partner or even a child on her own! someone who needs others approval to chose their mood, path or an answer is just a dead body, very harsh i know! but really, god has given us such beautiful minds and bodies! WHY LIVE UNDER OTHERS INFLUENCE? WHY NOT CHOOSE WHAT WE WANT FROM LIFE AND GRAB IT WITH BOTH OUR HANDS? WHY DO WE NEED TO BE TOLD WHAT TO DO, WHAT NOT TO DO?

I am sure if we take a decision to be independent, our lives would me much better, happier and much much more satisfying!

Hoping this post makes a difference to your life!

Friday, May 23, 2008

Some people to forget.....

All through my schooling and junior college I really had grown respecting girls a lot! I used to always think of girls as nice people, well mannered, kind, pretty and selfless. That was what i had seen around me, girls were very unlike us boys! But this respect i only carried till i got into KRVIA!

I saw and met some of the worst girls in my life there, maybe very few best too, but generally the worse! They really made me change my entire outlook about girls. Didnt have to look too far saw some really selfish and self centred girls right next too me, who s only objectives were to use people, to exploit them financially, mentally, emotionally whichever possible! They hung with the rich guys\girls with cars money, enough to get them booze to enjoy parties and safe rides home! to have a car to pick them drop them, company to take them to the best places which maybe they couldnt afford without his\her company. In return what they gave them was a cute smile, a hug maybbe and a long living feeling of being there whenever he or she needed them! ten thousand calls just to make sure hes doing fine, completed his\her submissions, but finally all for a selfish purpose! It wasnt just the material needs, some needed emotional support, some needed boozing partners, agony uncles and aunties, need of a family and god knows what all...............

KRVIA has been perhaps the only architectural college which has been able to boast of spoilt kids of the whos-who of the industry, maybe one of the reason why it became a hub of so much politics, scandals, controversies etc. on other hand it has produced some of the brilliant and dedicated architects of mumbai! Maybe exposure to these things at such an early stage itself makes you strong enough to handle any negativity outside in the world, profession or offices. I saw the way things worked there, it was way too harrowing at first, saw crazy people doing crazy thing and people around calling it cool just to ensure that others dont call them crazy. To stand up and protest was a crime, better be quiet and let things happen, otherwise they will take your case!

I met a lot of preachers there, yes, architect cum preacher, archi-eacher lets call them that for the moment! Surprisingly who had never supervised a contruction site for a day, never built a house or an office or for that matter even a wall, but who knew very well to critique, almighties who knew the right from wrong, saviours of the architectural scene of mumbai or india too!

They had a lot of followers too, who praised them and believed in every word they said, and they got rewarded! the rewards being praise, marks, awards, nominations, and to few lucky ones ready made designs and outside projects!

At first i didnt understand if you dont practise something how can you preach it? as we know charity begins at home! but later on I realized they were advanced souls, philosophers, saints maybe who wanted our good and society s too maybe! Nevertheless, after repeated attempts to understand and realize that they were just fake, i paid no heed! but it was fatal, how can you take a fight with an all knowing messiah? i burnt my fingers fighting with this fire, but anyways the finger healed, left a scar though and deep sense of realization that told me 'function independently', donot care cuz i knew what i was doing was right and also got me to eagerly come out, practise, design and build beyond sheets, build in real life, real land, material and people!

I was right, i was made to design and build, at 23 i have list of projects designed and implemented, a list that surpasses my preachers's and their followers's! Point is not to be proud of this fact, point is that this blog is for each one of you, who has been preached at your school, college, work place, who has been used by selfish people, who has been ridiculed, teased for small, not so small things, for those who have been told they cannot do it! I tell you, YOU CAN DO IT, YOU CAN DO ANYTHING THAT YOU BELIEVE IN!

You keep meeting all these above mentioned types of people all your life, you have to keep your head up, fight them, and move on.... life is too big, so even though you have been down till now, you can still rise up and make your mark!

I havent really done anything expectional till now and i also have a few backlogs and keep having few set backs on the way, but i know i am gonna make it and reach my goals though all these negative things and people! They are just gonna stand below and shout, nag and laugh, while we will be on the top, so far up that their voices will never reach us, EVER!

So, all the very best for you dear friends!